When the going gets tough, the tough get drugs. On the advice of my father, I sought treatment from a bariatric specialist. He took one look at my food tracker and said, "no carbs for you." My lower lip poked out and said "crackers?" and he said "no carbs" and I said "oatmeal" and he still said "no carbs". I've been restricted to fruits, veggies and lean proteins. This is a radical shift for me, as I am the carb queen. He also put me on phentermine, which is a drug that suppresses the appetite and boosts metabolism.
And here is the tricky business....it works. It really does. I have to remind myself to eat. And even when I do, I don't eat much. Part of that is probably the drugs, and some is probably that everything I love to eat is stuff I'm not eating anymore. In two weeks, I've undone the damage that Alabama did.
I feel pretty good about that fact. I've taken off 6 lbs since I started the drug and the diet and with relatively few side effects. There may be hope for me yet. I just have to remember to eat, because when I don't, I get very tired and sluggish. So something with B vitamins may be in order, because this week I get back in the gym for some serious cardio work.
It's only 6 pounds, but it's a start.
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Crazy in Alabama
I didn't mean to go away and leave you alone like that. I really didn't. But in the crazy way that work has, cause work is just a bitch sometimes, I was called upon to drop everything and go to Alabama. Not Mobile, or Birmingham. Cullman. Otherwise known as middle-of-nowhere north Alabama. The food choices in this town were not inspiring. Not at all. It was all fast food. All of it. There were one or two restaurants where you could acquire some fresh veggies or a sandwich or salad. Mostly, I lived on Zaxby's Zalads. They are pretty tasty, and huge. I could get one for lunch and eat the rest for dinner. Now, when I travel for work, it's usually for more than a few days. I was there for 2 weeks. I was staying at a monastery, which was beautiful and the monks were awesome and welcoming. But they make this really good bread there. With raisins and cinnamon. I ate a piece with butter, every day, for 2 weeks. Needless to say, the great progress I made with EvilTrainer was erased by too much monk's bread and soda and not enough walks around the monastery.
Now that I am finally home, thank the gods, I am finding it tough to get back into the swing of things. This maybe because school is starting next week and I'm a little stressed trying to get the kitchen back up to par. But I do have a training session on Monday, so that should jerk a knot in my tail. And I'm going back to Weight Watchers this Saturday, even though it will pain me to see what I gained. I totally already know what I gained, my pants told me last week, but hearing the words out loud is different.
I hate it alot. I worked so hard just to get where I was, and then poof! 2 weeks in Alabama and it's back to the line of scrimmage, with a 5 lb penalty for being a pig.
Now that I am finally home, thank the gods, I am finding it tough to get back into the swing of things. This maybe because school is starting next week and I'm a little stressed trying to get the kitchen back up to par. But I do have a training session on Monday, so that should jerk a knot in my tail. And I'm going back to Weight Watchers this Saturday, even though it will pain me to see what I gained. I totally already know what I gained, my pants told me last week, but hearing the words out loud is different.
I hate it alot. I worked so hard just to get where I was, and then poof! 2 weeks in Alabama and it's back to the line of scrimmage, with a 5 lb penalty for being a pig.
Monday, June 25, 2012
Brass Tacks
I did pretty well last week, until about Thursday. Then I tripped and fell into a bout of ennui that I could not seem to shake off until about Saturday. Those things happen sometimes. And despite my little trip-up, I still managed to lose a pound this week. Yay!
So in light of the fact that I have created all these good habits, exercise and eating and such, I believe it is time to get down to the nitty-gritty and start hacking these pounds off me. My goal this week is to lose a half of a pound. If I do everything thing I should, that should not be impossible. It may be tricky, but I'd like to find the right balance of diet and exercise that really lets me lose the weight. I've laid the foundations, now it's time to raise the roof.
So in light of the fact that I have created all these good habits, exercise and eating and such, I believe it is time to get down to the nitty-gritty and start hacking these pounds off me. My goal this week is to lose a half of a pound. If I do everything thing I should, that should not be impossible. It may be tricky, but I'd like to find the right balance of diet and exercise that really lets me lose the weight. I've laid the foundations, now it's time to raise the roof.
Monday, June 18, 2012
Fear Itself
So I've been challenging myself for a bit over a month now, and I've seen some good things from it. If nothing else, it has kept me dedicated to my cause and it's shown me that I cannot fall off. If I do, I pay for it. I had lost almost five pounds, until I got sick, then I gained 1.2. I thought it was 2 lbs, according to bathroom scale, but my meeting scale says 1.2. Apparently it pitied me.
There's something I notice about myself though. I've made all these behavior changes, which are awesome and definitely better habits to have. But I notice that when I fall off the wagon a bit, I tend to avoid the scale. Usually I weigh myself at least once during the week, before my meeting, mostly cause I hate surprises. But when I go amok, it's as if I don't want to know. Which is the equivalent of putting your hands over your eyes and thinking the monsters don't see you. I almost didn't go to my meeting this week, because I was scared of how much I had gained and what it would do to my progress. But you know, it really wasn't that bad once I did it. And it was good to go to the meeting and enjoy the support of folks who are like me. Who know that weight loss isn't a straight line path. You have good weeks and bad weeks, the important thing is to know that whatever that scale says, it's nowhere near as bad as what's in your head.
In Challenge news, I was victorious last week, but decided to forsake the tshirt, since I had bought two books for my Kindle that were the price equivalent of it. So I'll do the shirt this week instead. My Challenge is to eat 3-4 servings of fruit or veggies daily.
"The only thing to fear, is fear, itself."
There's something I notice about myself though. I've made all these behavior changes, which are awesome and definitely better habits to have. But I notice that when I fall off the wagon a bit, I tend to avoid the scale. Usually I weigh myself at least once during the week, before my meeting, mostly cause I hate surprises. But when I go amok, it's as if I don't want to know. Which is the equivalent of putting your hands over your eyes and thinking the monsters don't see you. I almost didn't go to my meeting this week, because I was scared of how much I had gained and what it would do to my progress. But you know, it really wasn't that bad once I did it. And it was good to go to the meeting and enjoy the support of folks who are like me. Who know that weight loss isn't a straight line path. You have good weeks and bad weeks, the important thing is to know that whatever that scale says, it's nowhere near as bad as what's in your head.
In Challenge news, I was victorious last week, but decided to forsake the tshirt, since I had bought two books for my Kindle that were the price equivalent of it. So I'll do the shirt this week instead. My Challenge is to eat 3-4 servings of fruit or veggies daily.
"The only thing to fear, is fear, itself."
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Fell Down
Further proof that sometimes life does not do what you want it to. Hubby came home Wednesday after Memorial Day and I was pretty good. Ate what I was supposed to eat, even in the face of the cookie he brought me. Which was pretty damn mean, even for him. Yeah, bring the fat girl a cookie. Who does that?!
But I went to the gym and did my thing and it was good. Until my sinuses attacked me. I'm all itchy-eyed, sniffly and headachy, which does not lend itself to good decisions. So I fell down last week and I have to beg forgiveness. No prizes for me this time. But I'm not going to dwell on my fall, I'm going to get back up. I'm still headachy and sniffly and stuff, but I'm going to get some better drugs.
So this week's challenge will be a double, since I screwed up last week. And it will be triply challenging by the fact that I am going out of town next week. Going off the home turf has never been a good thing for me, but I've got my tracker and my yoga mat and I think I can do it.
Challenges are: 20 squats daily, and taking my vitamins every day. My prize: A new Life is Good Tshirt. Woot!
"True victory lies not in never falling, but in rising each time we fall."
But I went to the gym and did my thing and it was good. Until my sinuses attacked me. I'm all itchy-eyed, sniffly and headachy, which does not lend itself to good decisions. So I fell down last week and I have to beg forgiveness. No prizes for me this time. But I'm not going to dwell on my fall, I'm going to get back up. I'm still headachy and sniffly and stuff, but I'm going to get some better drugs.
So this week's challenge will be a double, since I screwed up last week. And it will be triply challenging by the fact that I am going out of town next week. Going off the home turf has never been a good thing for me, but I've got my tracker and my yoga mat and I think I can do it.
Challenges are: 20 squats daily, and taking my vitamins every day. My prize: A new Life is Good Tshirt. Woot!
"True victory lies not in never falling, but in rising each time we fall."
Sunday, May 27, 2012
They Shall Not Pass
Force equals Mass times Acceleration. Any physics student or devoted watcher of The Big Bang could tell you this little equation. I'm finding that my challenges are easier, even when they're harder, because I feel like I have some good momentum. I lost a pound this week and that gives me hope. I really can do this. I can look at myself in the mirror and say "You are not my enemy." And I'm not. My body and I, we should be a team, not a couple of mean girls in high school, sniping and backbiting. Today on my 3-mile walk I came to the conclusion that my body didn't betray me, it didn't blow up due to some imagined slight or just out of pure nastiness. It only did what I told it to, by feeding it more than it needed, and not moving it around enough. Now I'm telling it that we are going to do something else, and it has responded. Maybe I'm not particularly fast or strong at this time, but I will be. You wait and see.
I succeeded in this week's challenge and will soon be the proud owner of a new sports bra. Next week, I add 10 push-ups daily, of any sort. I'm thinking there's a weighted exercise ball calling my name.
"we constructed, at infinite cost to ourselves, these Maginot lines against the enemy they thought they saw across the frontier. This enemy who never attacked that way, if ever; if he was, indeed, the enemy."
--paraphrased from A Separate Peace
I succeeded in this week's challenge and will soon be the proud owner of a new sports bra. Next week, I add 10 push-ups daily, of any sort. I'm thinking there's a weighted exercise ball calling my name.
"we constructed, at infinite cost to ourselves, these Maginot lines against the enemy they thought they saw across the frontier. This enemy who never attacked that way, if ever; if he was, indeed, the enemy."
--paraphrased from A Separate Peace
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Looking Up
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In 5-Day Challenge news, I did meet this week's challenge, but fell down on a previous one. So no prize for me. The new challenge is this: 25 crunches daily.
"When your legs give out, run with your heart."
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Winner Winner Chicken Dinner
My evil plan is working. This week I lost 2 lbs! After I did my happy dance, I started thinking about the next challenge. I thought the challenge might be to lose one pound this week, but I thought that might be setting up to fail. I don't want to de-rail now I've got some momentum. So I sat and I thought. Mostly because I was driving to the mountains and that is excellent thinking time, and I thought this week's challenge might be to take 2 classes at the gym. It can be any two classes at all. Zumba, Funk, or yoga or underwater aerobic basketweaving, but committing to 2 classes means I have to show up to the gym at least twice this week. I did manage twice last week, and I felt pretty good about that. But it takes more than a few weeks to create habits, so let me get out there and make some good ones.
"Excelsior."
"Excelsior."
Saturday, May 5, 2012
5 Days
My challenge last week was to track what I ate and to do a yoga workout everyday for 5 days. I didn't worry too much about staying in my Point range, just made sure that I wrote down everything I ate. And the yoga could be any length, 10 minutes or an hour, as long as I did it.
I'm very proud to say I was successful. I won my prize, which was a Norah Jones CD. So since it worked once, I'm going to try it again. This week I dedicate to tracking, daily yoga, and no eating out. No deli, no fast food, no restaurants.I'm going to work on preparing meals that are quick and healthy.
One thing I discovered that was cool is LunchBloks. They are containers with divider inserts, and then some accompanying containers, and they all fit together. So I've started making bento boxes of fruits and veggies, with cheese and nuts. It's hot outside and I like cool foods when it's hot. Also I like veggies better when they are raw.
So challenge #2 begins Monday and the prize is a new book for my kindle...
"Then the word grew louder and louder, till it was a battle cry..." ---The Call, Regina Spektor
I'm very proud to say I was successful. I won my prize, which was a Norah Jones CD. So since it worked once, I'm going to try it again. This week I dedicate to tracking, daily yoga, and no eating out. No deli, no fast food, no restaurants.I'm going to work on preparing meals that are quick and healthy.
One thing I discovered that was cool is LunchBloks. They are containers with divider inserts, and then some accompanying containers, and they all fit together. So I've started making bento boxes of fruits and veggies, with cheese and nuts. It's hot outside and I like cool foods when it's hot. Also I like veggies better when they are raw.
So challenge #2 begins Monday and the prize is a new book for my kindle...
"Then the word grew louder and louder, till it was a battle cry..." ---The Call, Regina Spektor
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Challenger
It's more than an exploding space shuttle...
I like a good challenge sometimes. That's why I enjoy my Fitocracy so much. I like getting points. I like the gratification of feedback. It's why I go to my weight watcher meetings. I want someone to applaud when I do well and pat my back when it doesn't and say that I'll do better next time. I also like rewards. As people, we like to do things that offer some return on investment. In this spirit, I've offered myself this challenge: Track my points Monday thru Friday, and do one yoga workout each day. If I do this successfully, I get to buy myself the new Norah Jones CD.
We'll see how this goes. Maybe it will be a weekly deal with the devil, to see if I can pry my expanding ass off my couch and get it to move around.
"The only use of an obstacle is to be overcome." Woodrow Wilson
I like a good challenge sometimes. That's why I enjoy my Fitocracy so much. I like getting points. I like the gratification of feedback. It's why I go to my weight watcher meetings. I want someone to applaud when I do well and pat my back when it doesn't and say that I'll do better next time. I also like rewards. As people, we like to do things that offer some return on investment. In this spirit, I've offered myself this challenge: Track my points Monday thru Friday, and do one yoga workout each day. If I do this successfully, I get to buy myself the new Norah Jones CD.
We'll see how this goes. Maybe it will be a weekly deal with the devil, to see if I can pry my expanding ass off my couch and get it to move around.
"The only use of an obstacle is to be overcome." Woodrow Wilson
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Great Expectations
How do we manage our expectations? Our expectations of ourselves, or the expectations that others have of us? How do we deal with not only disappointing ourselves, but those we love? And when those we love turn from us, because of how we've let ourselves go, how it cuts us and all we can do is bleed.
The last thing I've ever wanted to do was disappoint anyone. The worst feeling in the world to me is that I've failed. Either as a student, a daughter, a wife or an employee. Now, realistically, everyone fails at some point, it's just a fact of human existence, and we can no more avoid it than we can avoid death or taxes.
I'd like to make some excuse for failing. That I was trying to do too much other stuff, that I had too much on my plate to concentrate on that too, but the fact remains the same. Once again, I didn't meet expectations and once again, I let someone I love down by doing so.
What truly amazes me is how little I seem to expect of myself. Have I just grown so accustomed to trying, half-assed trying and falling short that I'm no longer surprised when it doesn't work? They always say you won't succeed until you are doing for yourself. But for me, I don't seem to be sufficient motivation for myself. Which brings me to this other thought, do I think this is all I deserve?
How do you decide how much you are worth?
The last thing I've ever wanted to do was disappoint anyone. The worst feeling in the world to me is that I've failed. Either as a student, a daughter, a wife or an employee. Now, realistically, everyone fails at some point, it's just a fact of human existence, and we can no more avoid it than we can avoid death or taxes.
I'd like to make some excuse for failing. That I was trying to do too much other stuff, that I had too much on my plate to concentrate on that too, but the fact remains the same. Once again, I didn't meet expectations and once again, I let someone I love down by doing so.
What truly amazes me is how little I seem to expect of myself. Have I just grown so accustomed to trying, half-assed trying and falling short that I'm no longer surprised when it doesn't work? They always say you won't succeed until you are doing for yourself. But for me, I don't seem to be sufficient motivation for myself. Which brings me to this other thought, do I think this is all I deserve?
How do you decide how much you are worth?
Sunday, April 1, 2012
D.C. Al Coda
If you know anything about music, then you know that D.C. Al Coda means basically playing from a spot in the middle to the Coda. Which is mostly at the end of the piece and other times, not. I've not posted in a long while, we've had some stuff here to deal with, which happens in everyone's life at some time. Dealing with my husband's depression, my aunt's breast cancer diagnosis and work stress has not left me much time to breathe, much less blog. So I'm sorry I left you, and I'm taking a mulligan.
I went to my weight watcher meeting and it is official: I'm back exactly where I started 2 years ago when I joined. I've lost 10 pounds about 3 times, but I am now officially, 180 lbs. Ugh.
I'm not going to make excuses. I made lousy choices. Maybe I thought I was making the best choice I could at the time, maybe I was just trying to drag myself through a difficult situation, it doesn't matter. The result is the same. It cannot be allowed to continue. I owe to myself, to my aunt (who has had her health stripped from her) to my friends and family, who would maybe like me to stick around for awhile. This is my Do Over.
My husband is back on the road, I am master of my fate again and I know that this is important. That taking time to be good to myself is not selfish, nor does it always have to involve ice cream.
So here I go, wish me luck.
Play it again, Sam.
I went to my weight watcher meeting and it is official: I'm back exactly where I started 2 years ago when I joined. I've lost 10 pounds about 3 times, but I am now officially, 180 lbs. Ugh.
I'm not going to make excuses. I made lousy choices. Maybe I thought I was making the best choice I could at the time, maybe I was just trying to drag myself through a difficult situation, it doesn't matter. The result is the same. It cannot be allowed to continue. I owe to myself, to my aunt (who has had her health stripped from her) to my friends and family, who would maybe like me to stick around for awhile. This is my Do Over.
My husband is back on the road, I am master of my fate again and I know that this is important. That taking time to be good to myself is not selfish, nor does it always have to involve ice cream.
So here I go, wish me luck.
Play it again, Sam.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Coda
I know this is a weight management blog, but since I seem to not be managing my weight right now, I feel like I should post something. All of my resources seem to be dedicated to keeping my world upright. As much as I can right now. Which, bless my pea-picking heart, doesn't seem to be much. My job is a daily exercise in misery, my husband seems to be wavering between stress, indecision and depression. I don't know what to do, I don't know how to help. A Moonstruck-esque slap and a "Snap out of it!" seems harsh for someone who just lost their father. So I'm holding our world together with rivets, glue and sheer force of personality. I want desperately to get to the gym tomorrow, but we'll see. Also, I'm not eating that cookie, so it can just stop calling my name.
right now.
right now.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Small Wonders
I've decided that it is best to work in small steps as I attempt to wrench my life back from the brink of failure and onto the path that I have chosen. So I am celebrating a couple of good things I have done this week.
1. I ate Cracksandwiches on Tuesday. They made me feel lousy. I'm thinking that they may not be best for me. My belly does not love them as much as my tastebuds do.
2. Wednesday and Thursday found me in the BK drive thru, but I made a better choice. Oatmeal! Yummy and filling. I wasn't even starving at the end of day.
3. I took my vitamin everyday this week.
So those are my small accomplishments. But it feels good to have something positive to say. I don't believe in sugar-coating, but no one wants to read a Debbie Downer all the time either.
"Our lives are made of these small hours, these little wonders..." -Rob Thomas
1. I ate Cracksandwiches on Tuesday. They made me feel lousy. I'm thinking that they may not be best for me. My belly does not love them as much as my tastebuds do.
2. Wednesday and Thursday found me in the BK drive thru, but I made a better choice. Oatmeal! Yummy and filling. I wasn't even starving at the end of day.
3. I took my vitamin everyday this week.
So those are my small accomplishments. But it feels good to have something positive to say. I don't believe in sugar-coating, but no one wants to read a Debbie Downer all the time either.
"Our lives are made of these small hours, these little wonders..." -Rob Thomas
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Comfort Food
Sorry about the extended absence my friends, but there was some chaos. Ok there was a lot of chaos. Two weeks into the new year my husband's father was killed in a car accident, so we had to hoist anchor and head back to Florida to help sort out that situation. One of the things that happens when someone passes is that folks bring food. It's a small way to be helpful to those who are grieving, one less thing for them to think of, plan for and deal with. And gods bless them for it. There is so much to do once someone is gone, especially when it's sudden and there's no time to prepare. So my stepmom-in-law's refrigerator was packed to the gills, with more coming in every night. Deli chickens, casseroles, breads, cakes, pasta dishes crowded the kitchen. It was something to take our minds off of the sad tasks at hand, some small, good thing that we could do. I always think of this type of food as the original "comfort food". When we are sad, we eat to give ourselves some peace, some comfort and some control over our lives, because so much of it is not in our control.
So I gained about 4 pounds since the new year, which I now have to evict, along with all it's fat little friends. One thing I did have brought home to me was this. Whatever it is you mean to do, do it now. Tomorrow is not guaranteed to anyone, ever.
Tempus Fugit.
So I gained about 4 pounds since the new year, which I now have to evict, along with all it's fat little friends. One thing I did have brought home to me was this. Whatever it is you mean to do, do it now. Tomorrow is not guaranteed to anyone, ever.
Tempus Fugit.
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