Vague and Far Away

Since my hubby is home this week, for the 3rd time this month (unprecedented!) I have taken it in hand to cook for us, at least dinner. Since I have a very competent sous chef at work, I'm not really cooking that much there. So I'm trying to rediscover what I liked about cooking in the first place. Or if I can even do it anymore. I did some fried chicken, got the breading a bit too salty. Shrimp Linguine, maybe a little too lemon-y. I was going to try banana bread, but I'm scared of throwing the tilt of the Earth off. I can't be responsible for that.
So I'm trying to retrain my culinary muscles. It's a bit like going back to the gym after illness or injury. First, it's frustrating. You can't do what you used to, or, you can't do it easily. You try to go heavier and you can't even pick up the bar. It's tough to have to go backwards so that you can catch yourself back up. It's hard to remember your former awesomeness and have that awesomeness seem dim and fuzzy and far off on the horizon.
We have to have patience with ourselves. Some things, you can pick back up with no trouble. Other things, well you have to remember how hard you worked to get those skills to begin with. Now you just have to drop back and punt.

And I like my Shrimp Linguine lemon-y.

Last Full Measure

I know I've been lax about posting here. But the simple fact is that I post when I have something to say and the Muse has been quiet lately. All of my energy is devoted right now to getting through the rest of this year. Next year (school year) is already heralding some changes and I've got come up with the game plan to meet those challenges.
But for the update, I have lost officially, about 30 lbs. I still have about 10-15 more I would like to lose. Of course, in that same vein, now that I can see the finish line, I find myself slacking. Not finding the time for gym and relaxing a little too much in my diet. Time for a course correction. The fact is that I do not want to be on these drugs for the rest of my life. They are not cheap. So it is a fine time to buckle down and get the rest of the weight off. Maintenance, and the idea of it, scares me a little. I'm worried that once I'm on my own, I'll slide right back down to where I was. It's happened before. And no matter how much I love the fact that it's easier to shop to for clothes, easier to do yoga, easier everything; I'm afraid that I will forget.
But I will figure out how to cross that treacherous bridge when I get there. Right now, I have to think in terms of "Finish Line". I cannot flag or fail or rest, I must give the last full measure of devotion. Though I do not pretend to have served in any sort of armed conflicts; my weight and my life have been my Gettysburg. I was both the Union and the Confederacy. I have looked myself in the eye across the green fields of war and known that it would end here, one way or the other.

I will cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war.