It's more than an exploding space shuttle...
I like a good challenge sometimes. That's why I enjoy my Fitocracy so much. I like getting points. I like the gratification of feedback. It's why I go to my weight watcher meetings. I want someone to applaud when I do well and pat my back when it doesn't and say that I'll do better next time. I also like rewards. As people, we like to do things that offer some return on investment. In this spirit, I've offered myself this challenge: Track my points Monday thru Friday, and do one yoga workout each day. If I do this successfully, I get to buy myself the new Norah Jones CD.
We'll see how this goes. Maybe it will be a weekly deal with the devil, to see if I can pry my expanding ass off my couch and get it to move around.
"The only use of an obstacle is to be overcome." Woodrow Wilson
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Great Expectations
How do we manage our expectations? Our expectations of ourselves, or the expectations that others have of us? How do we deal with not only disappointing ourselves, but those we love? And when those we love turn from us, because of how we've let ourselves go, how it cuts us and all we can do is bleed.
The last thing I've ever wanted to do was disappoint anyone. The worst feeling in the world to me is that I've failed. Either as a student, a daughter, a wife or an employee. Now, realistically, everyone fails at some point, it's just a fact of human existence, and we can no more avoid it than we can avoid death or taxes.
I'd like to make some excuse for failing. That I was trying to do too much other stuff, that I had too much on my plate to concentrate on that too, but the fact remains the same. Once again, I didn't meet expectations and once again, I let someone I love down by doing so.
What truly amazes me is how little I seem to expect of myself. Have I just grown so accustomed to trying, half-assed trying and falling short that I'm no longer surprised when it doesn't work? They always say you won't succeed until you are doing for yourself. But for me, I don't seem to be sufficient motivation for myself. Which brings me to this other thought, do I think this is all I deserve?
How do you decide how much you are worth?
The last thing I've ever wanted to do was disappoint anyone. The worst feeling in the world to me is that I've failed. Either as a student, a daughter, a wife or an employee. Now, realistically, everyone fails at some point, it's just a fact of human existence, and we can no more avoid it than we can avoid death or taxes.
I'd like to make some excuse for failing. That I was trying to do too much other stuff, that I had too much on my plate to concentrate on that too, but the fact remains the same. Once again, I didn't meet expectations and once again, I let someone I love down by doing so.
What truly amazes me is how little I seem to expect of myself. Have I just grown so accustomed to trying, half-assed trying and falling short that I'm no longer surprised when it doesn't work? They always say you won't succeed until you are doing for yourself. But for me, I don't seem to be sufficient motivation for myself. Which brings me to this other thought, do I think this is all I deserve?
How do you decide how much you are worth?
Sunday, April 1, 2012
D.C. Al Coda
If you know anything about music, then you know that D.C. Al Coda means basically playing from a spot in the middle to the Coda. Which is mostly at the end of the piece and other times, not. I've not posted in a long while, we've had some stuff here to deal with, which happens in everyone's life at some time. Dealing with my husband's depression, my aunt's breast cancer diagnosis and work stress has not left me much time to breathe, much less blog. So I'm sorry I left you, and I'm taking a mulligan.
I went to my weight watcher meeting and it is official: I'm back exactly where I started 2 years ago when I joined. I've lost 10 pounds about 3 times, but I am now officially, 180 lbs. Ugh.
I'm not going to make excuses. I made lousy choices. Maybe I thought I was making the best choice I could at the time, maybe I was just trying to drag myself through a difficult situation, it doesn't matter. The result is the same. It cannot be allowed to continue. I owe to myself, to my aunt (who has had her health stripped from her) to my friends and family, who would maybe like me to stick around for awhile. This is my Do Over.
My husband is back on the road, I am master of my fate again and I know that this is important. That taking time to be good to myself is not selfish, nor does it always have to involve ice cream.
So here I go, wish me luck.
Play it again, Sam.
I went to my weight watcher meeting and it is official: I'm back exactly where I started 2 years ago when I joined. I've lost 10 pounds about 3 times, but I am now officially, 180 lbs. Ugh.
I'm not going to make excuses. I made lousy choices. Maybe I thought I was making the best choice I could at the time, maybe I was just trying to drag myself through a difficult situation, it doesn't matter. The result is the same. It cannot be allowed to continue. I owe to myself, to my aunt (who has had her health stripped from her) to my friends and family, who would maybe like me to stick around for awhile. This is my Do Over.
My husband is back on the road, I am master of my fate again and I know that this is important. That taking time to be good to myself is not selfish, nor does it always have to involve ice cream.
So here I go, wish me luck.
Play it again, Sam.
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