Everyone who knows me knows that my attention span is finite. I am capable of great concentration, but for short blocks of time only. So when I feel myself losing my focus on my goals, I like to shift that focus. Find something else to fixate on for a bit, to break up the monotony.
So the weight loss is still proceeding apace; though not at the pace I would like. I'm down 25 lbs. now, which makes me incredibly happy. Although, I can admit, with some irritation, that I don't seem to be rapidly dropping any sizes. What does a girl have to do to go down a pants size...or a bra size?! I would gladly do something semi-drastic if it meant I could drop a cup size.
Did you ever see that cartoon, I'm not sure which one, where the dam is leaking and the cartoon character sticks a finger in it, to plug it up? Once that happens, another leak springs, so he plugs that, then another and so on. The point of the exercise really seems to be that sometimes there is a "butterfly effect" with your life. Fix one issue, and 2 more spring into focus. That happens to me. A lot.
My dear hubby's chief complaint was that I had gained too much weight, let myself go one bridge too far. Clearly, I am amending that situation and he is much pleased and happy with my progress. (not sure how much I'm willing to care about that at this moment) So, next on his list of Things-Wrong-With-Amanda is that my job sucks and pays no money. I can pay my bills, but I can't get ahead. There are a slew of cutting and sometimes nasty things he likes to say about that on a regular basis. I used to kind of ignore it, but it kept coming back to bite me. The fight was always the same. I decided this was very serious. A lot of marriages break up over money. A lot. This isn't the rock I'm willing to run my marriage aground on. So I start taking some small steps. Research is something that comes naturally to me. It's my reflex. If I want to know something or learn something, my battle cry is "I need a book!"
So long story less long...several financial & relationship books later; I realize I have been living my life in chaos. I need to be organized. Things need a place to be. How can anyone respect me or my skills if I clearly have no respect for them myself?
I'm still losing my weight, and I hope to reach goal by Beltane (May Day). But the weight loss is just plugging the dam, I've got to get my act together.
fuck the butterfly.
