Can we talk about something real? I mean something so scandalous that even though there are dozens of blogs about it, it never seems to make it to the mainstream. I'm talking about Breasts. Boobs.
I don't care what you call them (though I have always thought calling them "girls" or "twins" sounded a bit creepy, like they weren't part of me) but they are a fact of life as a woman. I have been busty all my life, thanks to my father's gene pool, and it has been mostly just inconvenient, sometimes painfully so. One of the things I most looked forward to with weight loss was losing some of the excess baggage on my chest. I'm short, and though I am curvy, my frame is medium to smallish. Carrying those around is heavy lifting.
Then I hit my 30s. Gravity kills. Now they aren't just heavy, they're defying all attempts to keep them in place. I have lost about 35 lbs and not even one smidgen of that was from my boobs. It's frustrating. Who do I have to kill to drop a cup size?
I waz seriously considering surgery until I lost my job. In the meantime these things still need containment and a lot of support.
Ever been bra shopping at a flea market? That's what bra shopping is like for me ALL the time. There are maybe 3 brands that offer my size (well sort of) and the ones I can afford fit halfway and the rest I'd have to sell a kidney to buy. For a country that loves boobs, bigger the better, nobody seems to remember that they need proper care and support just as much as our smaller sisters.
And before any of my friends with less than ample cleavage tries to kill me, wait. Go get a couple of five pound weight plates. Strap them to your chest so that they rely on your back, neck and shoulders to bear the weight. Carry that around 24/7, you will beg to get that shit off your body.
In the UK apparently it's not shameful to wear a larger cup size than DD. They make E, F, and G and they aren't all beige or ugly. So from now until I get a job where the insurance will pay for surgery, I'm buying my bras from across the pond. Bali, Olga and all their brethren can kiss my ass.
Here's to the ta-tas.
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